Maybe it's just a temporary; the mental, and emotional exhaustion will soon pass; it's nothing out of the ordinary. And one can only remain hopeful, optimistic and motivated for so long. I'm always so afraid of doing something wrong.
I envisioned myself as an old, decrepit woman. My youth and looks no longer mattered. I watched the younger people walk by; they worried about their financial situations, about their jobs; some worried about their love lives and wondered if they'll ever have babies. Some were rushing home to their children, and some were going shopping for a big date that evening.
As I watched them, I felt a sense of relief and liberation. I was invisible; there were no expectations; nobody asked me to cheer up and smile. I got no strange and awkward looks from men. I knew my time on this earth was coming to an end. I was slipping away, but I didn't care. I had lived a long life of many challenges, anxieties and senseless pursuits, of hopes and disappointments, and my heart was fatigued from a lifetime of heartbreaks. I was ready to go at any moment; I no longer feared death.
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