This is a rant.
I find myself feeling more and more contempt towards my co-workers and neighbors. And I feel guilty, because these are "nice" people for the most part. The guys I work with are either from the military or law enforcement, in the south. They rejoice on the most mundane things, and I truly don't give a fuck. Pardon my crassness.
Good for you if you enjoy biscuits with gravy and hog ham every friggin morning; you're excited about what type of rifle you're getting (since there's so much danger everywhere; of course you have to be hypervigilant!) next, and about where you're going hunting next month. And yes, I've overheard you and the guys talking about Obama being a dumbass. You don't want me to get into that conversation. You want none of it. At all.
They're so eager to partake in these dumb banterings. It's like saying anything is better than nothing at all. It's their way of bonding. And you know what? I've tried it with these guys. I join sometimes and have a couple of laughs. What happens after that? They watch your every move; they're nosy as hell!
I have a lot to think about and do. Yes, I leave here from lunch and I'll be back. I don't need to tell you what I had for lunch everyday, and I wish you didn't clock me when I came back in if it's within an hour's 10 minute frame. You don't have to be overly nice. Aren't you busy anyways? God forbid if I tell you my car is in the shop. You will remind me of it at every chance you have and constantly ask for updates.
Don't worry about me.You're not my father. Don't say good morning every morning over and over. Before I go home, you don't have to say "Bye, have a good night! Be careful on your way home! See you tomorrow" and then assume I'm rude if I don't answer all of your damn questions. To which, if I don't, then I feel like you'll ask me even more just to find out if anything is wrong.
Don't hang around my desk, don't ask me about my weekend at 7:30am on Monday morning, and when I say "good," don't expect more info. Leave me the F alone. Thank you. I will truly appreciate you more. Nothing exciting, what would be deemed exciting to me anyways, happened, and if it did, I wouldn't be sharing it with you, so you can discuss it with the rest of the guys, and then find a way to tease me about what fun things I do as a single "wild gal" for having some dinner with friends. Plus I would never, EVER tell you if I went out on a date or if I'm actually seeing anyone. NEVER. EVER.
If I drop something in the kitchen, you don't have to get up, go over to the kitchen and ask, "is everything alright?" GTFOH! Is this some kind of adventure for you? Go back to your desk. I got it!
So I told you off, because I just can't take it anymore, and now I'm rude. So next time, I try to be nicer, but then, of course, the cycle begins again and your head is up my ass.
I can't wait to move, and not to have to tell my office co-workers where I'm going every friggin' minute! You know why? Because they won't even care! As a matter of fact, they'll be too busy with their own lives and preoccupied with their own thoughts to even notice when I'm gone; unless, they're requesting something in specific from me.
With that said, I can't wait to move, and not deal with the mentality of small town folks and their conservative, narrow minded views, which, is a different topic I can expand on; but as this point, I'm exhausted just thinking about how much I've put up with in quiet desperation for the past few years.
Sigh. I feel better!
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